Do you remember your first kiss, your first date or maybe it was just simply remembering when you liked your first crush?
When we are younger as early as 6 years old, we start engaging in sexual interest from the same sex to the opposite.
We show love by smiles, holding hands, flirting, drawings and even poems. As years pass, like everything else we gain experiences through different milestones we achieve.
The milestone of love stays with us till our last day.
Love sure will come and it will go and when it goes we can feel heartache, we can feel pain, disappointment and even rejection. All which are valid feelings we all will feel inside at some point or
another through breakups and mishaps. But it is with those experiences that can shed our own light on the overbearing feelings of;
anxiousness
feeling afraid,
feeling the loss of our self-esteem and even feeling hopeless.
Abuse
Was a word I knew that was associated with another person hitting or hurting someone else. I never saw anyone get abused or heard of any of my friends getting abused. My parents never hit me or my siblings so I simply thought abuse would never find me.
Sure I’ve fallen in love.
Love is one of the most magical feelings any human can experience in life.
You know that feeling, when you just can’t breathe without them?
Your heart beats with the impending feeling of cupid hearts overflowing out of your chest?
They say…
Love is patient
Love is kind; it does not envy or boast
it is not rude or arrogant
Many don’t believe in that part of the well known sited biblical saying. Not in today’s world, I was one of them. Being abused drains you from yourself. It robs your self worth, it steals your smile and your Love.
Being abused doesn’t have to be physical.
Mental abuse is abuse.
Sexual abuse is abuse.
Name calling and put downs are abuse.
Abuse comes in different shapes, sizes and colors. It does not discriminate.
Being placed in a shocking yet troubling experience can cause trauma. Trauma caused my anxiety. Feeling anxious every day, always looking over your shoulders and fearing death was very scary. I never thought I would get through the next day.
I always pondered
Was it me?
Did I do something to deserve this?
Maybe the abuse wasn’t that bad?
Maybe I wasn’t getting abused at all?
I became chronically ill; diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), Depression and Chronic
pain. I lived in fear more than half of my life. I was raising a baby girl, as a young mom and trying to survive. And that’s what I did, I SURVIVED.
Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. It took me a decade to reach out. I was embarrassed, I hid my shame of getting abused. I didn’t want others looking at me in a particular way, nor anyone telling
me what they thought I needed to do differently. Yes, no one knows how you feel or what you went through, but others can help get you through the emotions you are feeling to help you heal and be protected.
For whoever reads this, I would like you to know;
You can not heal in the same environment that made you sick. Please don’t you forget that you are stronger than you know, because strength
will find you, sooner than you ever thought it would.
You are NEVER alone.
The next stranger that reaches out their hand don’t doubt, it could be your life boat. And do not dwell, do not continue to place yourself back in that place of horror or pain.
There is more to life than the past and that’s to have faith. But instead remind yourself the next step you’re about to take is a direction your heart knows to go.
You have a life to live and a story to tell. and maybe… that story will just one day help someone
SURVIVE!
Because you did & trauma no longer knows your name.
This post was written by Lauren K., and published by Convenient Counseling Services.
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