Okay, here we go, unpopular opinion, I know.
Self-care isn’t about bubble baths. There, I said it.
Why, as a society, do we continue to chalk up basic human needs as self-care?
“I ate a delicious smoothie today… #selfcare”
“I took an extra long shower today… #selfcare”
“I took a nap because I was so tired I was beginning to hallucinate… #selfcare”
You guys.. I’m here to say, this is not it.
As a society and as a culture, it is time to stop chalking up the fact that we’re meeting our basic needs to self-care. Self-care goes beyond basic needs like sleep, food, shelter, and water.
Let’s think about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
The bottom of the pyramid, the absolute necessities, are listed. Followed by safety needs, love and belonging needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization. Now essentially what Maslow is saying, is that you can absolutely survive on just achieving the physiological needs, but to truly be self-actualized, and be all that one can be, the other things in-between need to be met as well.
If we look at the true definition of self-care, it is “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness” (according to dictionary.com). Taking an active role is key here. Self-care should be striving, with intention, to preserve and strengthen the “in-betweens”.
What does this look like?
- Saying “no” to things you do not want to be a part of
- Telling someone they are not allowed to speak to you in a certain way
- Keeping yourself on a budget, even if it means cutting out social events that frankly, you didn’t want to attend anyway
- Leaving that toxic job, even if it means taking a pay cut
- Getting out of that toxic friendship. They’re no good for you, anyway
- Practicing affirmations every single day until you believe them deep in your soul
We could go on, but you get the point.
Self-care is not the commercialized bath bombs and hundreds of dollars on spa treatments. Although, these things are absolutely lovely and can be so vital to our down-time. It’s time to truly distinguish self-care from winding down, taking a break, so on and so forth.
What is something you can do to further your own self-care? That is, how can you actively practice preserving or improving your well-being and happiness?
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