We reach a moment in our lives where we find love and it’s all good.
We feel warmth, happiness, comfort and love.
However, sometimes we reach a bump in the road.
This “bump” can represent a series of couples’ issues.
The most common issues that couples face are;
(1) finances
(2) intimacy
(3) time
(4) trust
(5) jealousy (Jed Foundation, 2021)’’.
Financial crises can be a major issue within a relationship.
We all have different values and that includes that value of money. Many couples argue about what or how money should be used.
Money can also be equivalent to how much power you have. Many use their paycheck to declare the rules within the relationship.
A relationship is meant to be balanced and both partners are supposed to communicate with one another.
Intimacy is a combination of how couples feel sexually and emotionally. Our bodies start to change and sometimes our self esteem is not the same.
As time goes on we often change in desires. It is important to reignite the passion in the relationship so our feelings of attraction and desire do not diminish.
There is no time like the present to spend time with your partner.
In our Westernized way of life, we always tend to put our relationship aside.
We start to believe that other things are more important than spending time with our loved ones.
The lack of quality time initiates a level of emotional separation.
Meaning that you will no longer feel romantically inclined to your partner.
Lastly, a lack of trust can initiate unfounded arguments.
Couples will begin to experience a level of insecurity.
So, how do we fix this?
Well there are many ways to address these issues and it all depends on how hard you are willing to work for it.
For one you have to ask yourself, is this relationship safe? Not all relationships are safe, some are extremely abusive.
Some partners use physical and emotional abuse tactics to keep their partner from leaving.
In this case you may want to develop a safety plan.
A safety plan can address a multitude of things; it just depends on what your immediate needs are.
Fortunately, there are organizations such as The National Domestic Abuse Hotline that contain a variety of resources to help domestic abuse victims (National Domestic Abuse Hotline, 2023).
Now that you have analyzed your situation and you concluded that you are not in immediate danger, there are several different ways to address your relationship issues.
The Rush University Medical Center recommends the following to improve your relationship;
1. Communication is critical. – Communication is the foundation for all relationships, and without it, you can have problems.
2. Arguing in a constructive way can be helpful. -Occasional arguments are perfectly normal. If you notice you or your partner getting overwhelmed, Pause the conversation and agree to come back to it another time.
3. Intimacy can be an important factor. – If physical intimacy is important to you in a relationship
4. Make time for your relationship. – School, work and kids, among other things, can take the focus off our relationships, so it’s important to maintain balance.
5. Maintaining individuality is important, too. – Occasionally, couples’ lives become so intertwined that people can lose their sense of identity.
6. Small things can make a big impact. – Engaging in smaller acts from time to time.
(Hisey Pierson, 2022)
If you reach a point where you feel your relationship is no longer healthy, try talking to a licensed couples therapist in your area.
Therapists provide a neutral environment in which you can discuss your frustrations.
Therapists can provide some techniques to better address your concerns without debilitating the relationship.
This post was written by Jasmine P., and published by Convenient Counseling Services.
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The Jed Foundation. (2021, August 16). Common relationship problems and how to deal with them:. The Jed Foundation. https://jedfoundation.org/resource/common-relationship-problems-and-how-to-deal-with-them/
National Domestic Violence Hotline. (2023, July 31). What is a safety plan?. National Domestic Violence Hotline. https://www.thehotline.org/what-is-a-safety-plan/
Hisey Pierson, T. (2022, February 21). 6 tips for a healthy relationship. RUSH. https://www.rush.edu/news/6-tips-healthy-relationship
