The human body releases the hormone cortisol in response to stress. Chronic stress causes depression and eventually mental illness. Stress makes people tired and disagreeable. If you are depressed then you can’t feel emotional intimacy.
The good news
..is that stress is manageable.
Identify the trigger that causes stress in your lives and deal with it
There are a few reasons why you fall out of intimacy..
- No physical attraction. Our bodies change as our lifestyle changes
- Not being spontaneous. In a relationship, acceptance plays a big role
- Chronic stress
- Health problems
- Disagreements
Intimacy requires trust and safety to feel free enough to let go and be yourself
You need to be aware of your inner experience in the moment and have the courage and openness to share what you’re feeling with someone who also shares intimate feelings with you.
Here are the necessary ingredients for intimacy
Touch and flirt with your partner routinely to promote physical intimacy.
When you first started dating, you likely flirted a lot and couldn’t keep your hands off each other, but somewhere along the way, that changed.
The good news is it’s never too late to bring it back. If it’s been a while since you acted this way around your partner, start slow and work your way up to it.
- For example, you might rest your hand on their arm or leg as you’re making a point in a conversation or brush your hand down their back as you pass them in the kitchen.
- Whenever the mood strikes, give your partner a hug or brief squeeze. You might grab their hand as you’re walking together or squeeze their knee when you’re sitting next to each other.
- In private moments, try running your hand up their leg or down their chest. You also might give them a slightly longer kiss, then let your mouth linger around their neck or ear.
Talking about sex and intimacy helps you understand each other better
Make what turns you on and what gets you in the mood as much a part of daily conversation as what food you like to eat or activities you enjoy.
You’ll find that you feel closer to your partner and can better anticipate when the time is right for more intimate interactions with each other
Confidence makes you feel worthy of physical intimacy
Turn off all of your devices and focus on each other to rebuild emotional intimacy.
Personal growth reinvigorates your passion by making you feel like a new person.
Showing that you appreciate your partner restores emotional intimacy.
Make Your Bedroom “yours” special, candles, smells, pictures even a new blanket.
Plan Weekend Getaways. When you have kids in the house, finding time for intimacy can be a challenge.
“Deep within us — no matter who we are — there lives a feeling of wanting to
be lovable, of wanting to be the kind of person that others like to be with. And
the greatest thing we can do is to let people know that they are loved and
capable of loving.” – Fred Rogers
This post was written by Lauren K., and published by Convenient Counseling Services.
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