We reach a moment in our lives when there is a constant desire to compare ourselves to others.
We tend to see ourselves as failures because we may not have as many accomplishments as the next person.
Many of us become envious of what others have and disregard our true potential.
Below are a few examples of how we compare ourselves on a daily basis:
- How much money we make?
- Intelligence level
- Physical capabilities
- Our ability to create and/or end relationships
- Parental relationships
- Access to education
- Beauty standards – body weight
These are a few examples of how we tend to compare with one other.
We are social beings and it is perfectly normal to evaluate ourselves.
However, it is also imperative to accept who we are.
Comparing ourselves to others can be toxic to our mental health.
Comparing yourself excessively can lead to depression, anxiety, and can trigger other mood related disorders.
You need to remind yourself that you are wonderful as well.
I would like you to stop for a moment.
Take in a deep breath.
Look at yourself in front of mirror and say the following:
“I ( insert name here) am a powerful human being and I deserve to be happy. Yes, my life can be difficult at times but that does not negate how resilient I am. Things take time and I need to be patient with myself.”
This statement is not a cure for all, but rather a way to connect with your past self.
Meaning, look back at what kind of hobbies you used to enjoy doing.
You may even consider picking it back up again.
Try introducing yourself to new hobbies as well, give yourself a new purpose.
Some for example even start volunteering at food and animal shelters. Helping others can make a huge difference on your self esteem.
Volunteering can teach you to be more appreciative for the little things you have.
For example, having a roof over your head while others may not have a safe space to return to.
Sharing empathy is a great way to fight off those negative emotions.
It can also teach yourself that you are not alone in this world.
There are millions of people who feel they did not accomplish enough in their lifetime.
When seeing another being in trouble your mind becomes preoccupied with them rather than your need to self compare.
You may even want to talk to a therapist to explore those feelings and see if there is something triggering you.
If you ever compare yourself to another person think about the following:
- Make a personal list of what you are grateful for.
- List your own personal strengths and weaknesses. Then address how you can improve on your areas of weakness. For example, you may not be a great public speaker. So you may want to sign up for a public speaking course.
- Try to be more sociable. Closing yourself to the world is not healthy. Try planning nature hikes, walks, lunch dates or even simple phone calls with friends.
- Take a break from social media.
- Reignite your love for your personal hobbies or even personal relationships. Try doing activities that you and/or your partner may enjoy. Reconnect with relatives by planning a family reunion.
- Do not compare your intelligence to another person. Not everyone in this world experiences the same upbringing. Our life experiences vary from person to person and so does our intelligence.
- Spend time with your animal friends. Pets are a great way of grounding yourself. Pets provide companionship, and empathy in times of need.
- Remember to pace yourself. Things take time to fall into place and if it doesn’t work out don’t stress over it, other opportunities will arrive.
This post was written by Jasmine P., and published by Convenient Counseling Services.
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