Your Feelings Matter

Your feelings matter
You don’t need to validate your feelings to anyone
Your feelings matter
You are entitled to feel the way you do
Don’t let anyone tell you different

 

Your feelings matter

Emotions serve an important purpose and shouldn’t be ignored.

For example, feeling angry, afraid, or sad tells you that something’s wrong.

You don’t want to miss these crucial pieces of information because they can help you to take care of yourself and make decisions to keep yourself safe.

 

Feelings aren’t right or wrong.

It has been my own experience when I have felt down and saddened.

 

Never base your sense of self-worth on the approval of other people.

I have made that mistake a few times.

Avoid doing things for the approval of others to make yourself feel good or like you matter.

It will provide you the illusion of mattering, but that will all go away when you’re no longer useful.

Your worth is not tied up on what you can contribute. Your worth is because you are a human being deserving of basic respect and consideration.

People that may have hurt you in the past most likely will not allow you to  be vulnerable and let your emotions out.

That doesn’t mean you have to let go of your feelings and place them away like they never happened.

 

Though you may feel like you don’t matter right now, you’re not alone.

Many people struggle to find people to be around and a place to fit into the world.

Part of this is the evolution of our society. Church used to be a common social denominator where people would regularly gather and socialize.

That would help fill that hole of loneliness and community that is tied to feeling like you matter.

Today, with many denominations, and society targeting beliefs, people do not attend church like they used to.

Many don’t carry health insurance to provide themselves with therapy, they lose friends throughout the years and that leads to losing shoulders to lean on.

Find yourself a safe outlet to speak your emotions and lean on someone who can be there for you.

So, what can we do?

To have our feelings be validated and help ourselves heal from past trauma or disappointing feelings?

Embrace your feelings, show them off! If you’re sad, let someone know you’re sad.

If you like to write, write that person a letter or an email.

The good news is that these feelings can be redirected or shaped into a healthier perspective about your place in the world.

If you’re reading this and you would like guidance on how to be a better listener, to someone you may have hurt here are a few helpful steps:

  1. Listen Empathically
  2. Give your full attention
  3. If you’re distracted, let the other person know and ask to talk at a later time
  4. Invite them to open up. If you suspect someone wants to talk about something but isn’t comfortable initiating the conversation, try asking a simple question like, “You seem upset, can I help  with anything”
  5. Be observant
  6. Don’t rush there time and feelings
  7. Have compassion
  8. If your wrong, own it and apologize

Remember, we are all human and we all have emotions. Some carry it differently and regardless of the situation everyone is entitled to feel a certain way even if you don’t feel the same.

 

This post was written by Lauren K., and published by Convenient Counseling Services.

Live in New York and want to learn more about working with us? Check us out here!

Check out more content like this here.

Similar Posts

  • |

    Black Lives + Mental Health

    African Americans have endured systemic racism, oppression, scientific bias, and historical trauma. Throughout centuries, this minority group has endured terrible and unjust treatment. Which is why many avoid seeing healthcare providers. African Americans no longer trust providers when it comes to their wellbeing. The Black Lives Matter movement started in 2013 and it was meant…

  • |

    The New Age Communication Challenge

    In an era where smartphones are ubiquitous, it’s ironic yet increasingly common for Gen Z—those born between the late 1990s and early 2010s—to experience phone anxiety. Despite their digital fluency, many in this generation find traditional phone calls intimidating or stressful. Understanding the root causes of this phenomenon and exploring ways to address it is…

  • Conquering Anxiety

    Filled with anxiety for years and feeling hopelessness. You can’t seem to not feed your mind with negative feeds of information and fearful thoughts. You know what you need to do; to have clarity, meditate and ground yourself. You just can’t shake it as much as you try. You know you need to fuel your…

  • |

    Starting Over

    Blessings come in disguise. When you feel that life just can’t get any worse you ask yourself where do I go from here? Starting over in life can be difficult, whether it’s a new job, marriage, trust and even our health. Before you can fix something, you need to know what causes it to break…

  • |

    The Power of a Hug

    “Sometimes, you just need a hug” This may be one of the most repeated sayings of popular wisdom, but in fact, science shows that there is a lot of truth to this sentence. Sadly, during the Coronavirus pandemic the majority of us have been strongly advised not to embrace friends, family or loved-ones. Furthermore, the…