If you’ve been here for a while, you know my unpopular opinion that self-care is not sleeping, taking baths, or eating a good, home-cooked meal. Those are basic needs, and self-care extends a bit further than that.
The secret to self-care that I share with all of my clients?
Creating and updating your values list.
Let me explain.
Time is a valuable thing. If 2020 has brought us nothing else, it has sure brought us the gift of time. With this gift of time comes much responsibility in how we use it. There is arguably no worse feeling than going to bed at night feeling like there was time wasted during the day.
To really capitalize on our time, and ensure that we are doing things that fill our cup, I always, always encourage people to make a list of their values. Not only to make this list, but to update it monthly, quarterly, yearly, whatever feels appropriate to you.
What does this list provide us?
Listing our values gives us permission to slow down and take part in things that do not necessarily provide us return, such as money, productivity, etc., but they are things that mean something to us.
We are so pressured into spending our time working, building, learning, creating, pushing, pushing, pushing. And while the return on these things might bring us some temporary joy, are we truly taking time for things that mean the most to us?
Here’s an example. Something on my values list is spending 30 minutes each day in the rocking chair with my baby. Does this provide any financial, productivity, or other gain? No. But, this is something that truly matters to me. And at the end of this month, or this quarter, it is something I certainly will not regret spending time on.
Having something like this on a list, whether in our phone, in our journal, wherever works for you, gives us the permission to slow down and enjoy this time. It’s this weird checklist mentality that we have all come to develop as the world focuses more and more on productivity and this toxic-productive culture that we are a part of.
So going off of my own example, I will never regret that time I slowed down, even if it means e-mails weren’t answered, blogs weren’t written, dishes weren’t done. Not only because it is time that matters, but because it is on my list. And if there is something we as a generation love, it’s a good list.
So let’s chat about updating this list.
The truth is, our values change over time.
The obvious example – unfortunately, as much as I would like him to, my baby will not be a baby forever. So maybe next year, my list will have something like, “read to him for 30 minutes each day”, or something of the like.
Maybe this year, your value is on learning, and you want to spend a certain amount of time reading articles, books, or taking part in online classes. Next year, you may feel compelled to focus on something creative. That is okay! We are ever-changing, and our values should align with those changes.
So let’s bring this all back to self-care. Self-care is subtle. It is not always this huge showcasing of going to the spa, having an expensive meal, or taking a luxurious bath. It is intentional time and energy spent cultivating what matters most to us.
What’s on your list?
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