Do You Need More Boundaries?

Boundaries are another way of saying personal space.

There are several different kinds of boundaries such as emotional, physical, social and even ethical boundaries.

We use boundaries every single day, whether you notice it or not.

Why are boundaries important?

Well for starters, you need your own personal space to think and feel safe in. Boundaries provide a sense of security from those around you.

Many perpetrators tend to invade your space to harm you or others.

Not only that but many diagnosed with mental health issues tend to not comprehend the extent of setting boundaries.

Many people struggle creating and enforcing their personal boundaries.

What should we do?

Well for one, think about why you want to set a boundary. Setting boundaries initiates self care and self healing.

Boundaries allow you to communicate your wants and needs.

For example, you may want space to breathe or even process your current situation.

Another example would be that you need a sense of security.

Safety is the primary reason that many choose to have a certain level of space.

Without boundaries..

Many take on too many responsibilities that can exacerbate their mental health. It is ok that you want to help others in their time of need, but don’t forget about your own health.

Setting personal boundaries can reduce the likelihood of getting compassion fatigue and/or burnout.

Individuals with a diagnosed mental health disorder tend to have difficulty understanding why we need space.

Some may even initiate conflicts with other patients due to their inability to maintain space.

The Help Guide Website (Reid, 2023) notes the following examples of unhealthy boundaries:

Rigid boundaries keep other people at a distance.
Porous or weak boundaries develop when you have a hard time saying “no” to others.

For example, you might be too willing to take on all the responsibilities in a:

Desire for control
Fear of rejection.
Lack of experience with setting limitations. If you grew up surrounded by people who set poor personal boundaries, managing proper ones can be a challenge.
Overly agreeable personality.
Low self-esteem. You might feel as if your needs and wants aren’t worth vocalizing, or that you don’t have an identity of your own.

Boundaries are a key component of self worth and without them you are vulnerable to serious mental health related issues

You have to remind yourself that it is okay to ask for some space. You need to be able to set rules within your job and personal life.

Boundaries play an integral part in the triad of mental health ( physical, social and emotional state of mind).

Author Joe Sanok (2022) recommends the following tips when creating boundaries:

Determine your top priorities in work and in life. – What are the one or two things you are trying to get out of your personal life and your professional life?
Test out one hard boundary. – Being more selective about what and who you give your energy to will allow you to focus only on the items that give you the greatest return on your investment.
Practice a few soft boundaries. -The things you would like to change, but don’t need to change urgently. Maybe you want to get a better night’s sleep, or even limit the amount of time you spend on social media.
Commit. -You’ve now had some time to test out a few ways to protect your time, energy, and well-being.

Do not feel discouraged if you aren’t able to meet your goals.

On the contrary, keep trying until you like you achieved your goals.

No one is perfect in this world, so try doing one goal at a time.

The goal of setting boundaries is to teach yourself about self care.

This post was written by Jasmine P., and published by Convenient Counseling Services.

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References:

Sanok, J. (2022, April 15). A guide to setting better boundaries. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2022/04/a-guide-to-setting-better-boundaries

Reid, S. (2023, November 7). Setting healthy boundaries in relationships. HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships.htm