“While popular culture may imply that happiness comes from focusing on yourself, research suggests the opposite: Being generous can make you happier.”
‘Tis the Season
‘Tis the season of giving. And parties. And shopping. And cooking. And wrapping. And traveling. And hosting. And having to remember all the things when there are So. Many. Things. When we’re already stressed out and tired.
But don’t forget: ‘Tis the season of giving!
Does gift-giving stress you out?
Do you have multiple people you have to remember and honor? With gifts, energy, or your time?
Do you want to volunteer? Are you asked to volunteer but decline?
Does the holiday season make you feel overwhelmed?
Is it hard to stay focused on what feels good and right?
Is it difficult to feel gratitude? To feel the “Holiday Spirit?”
For some people, giving time, aid, money, gifts, energy, emotional support, encouragement, or possessions comes easily. It feels good, the giver knows it feels good, they are in a habit of giving, and have or find the means to do so.
For others, tacking on another to-do can be frustrating.
“Yes, we were asked to volunteer for the Salvation Army ringing the bell, but I don’t have an hour to spend doing that right now.”
“The office is gathering donations for our assistant. I appreciate her, but it feels like I’m handing over money ALL the time!”
“My church has a giving tree. I don’t have gifts yet for my own family. I’m too far behind. I’m not going to find the time to get gifts for someone else’s family.”
“I see this post on social media about a family that lost everything in a house fire. I have some of the stuff they’re looking for. But it would take energy to get it together and delivered where it needs to go. I can’t right now.”
For some people, being generous with our resources seems like another task when we already have too much on our plate. It isn’t second nature and can seem overwhelming.
If you want to change your generosity habits, OR if you are looking for ways to feel better about yourself and improve your health and self-esteem, look no further!
Research has shown that generosity can lead to:
-Decreased depression
-Decreased blood pressure
-Increased happiness and outlook
-Longer life
-Improved relationships
-Reduced burnout
-A sense of community
-Reciprocal giving (being able to rely on others whom you have given your time, energy, or other resources to. Not demanding, but an ability to ask without guilt)
Generosity
Generosity can mean different things to different people. Generosity is defined by Webster as, “the quality of being kind and generous.” For generosity to be the most beneficial to the giver, there are a few additional components.
-Giving of one’s own volition: Giving because you CHOOSE to gift, not because you are required to do so.
-Knowing where your gift is going: it’s not necessary to personally know the individual that is receiving your gift. But giving to charity without having any idea how your money might help someone isn’t as beneficial as gifting items to a stranger in your community that you know needs those specific items for their children.
-Volunteering your time and energy, not just items.
Volunteering
Two of my children volunteered this past weekend for the Salvation Army ringing bells at our local grocery store entrance. There were moments when I felt annoyed leading up to it. “I don’t have time for this today.” We all feel busy. Right?
Then something happened. We got there, we started collecting donations, and my mood lifted. Someone dropped change on the floor and one son picked it up and added it to the bucket, with permission. A leftover nickel was found a few minutes later and my oldest picked it up wanting to keep it. I reminded him why we were there. What we were collecting donations for. Who we were collecting for.
We saw community members. We had multiple people promise “we’ll see you on the way out!” And then they all stopped.
I said “Hi, how are you?” to everyone coming in, and “Happy Holidays. Take care!” to everyone on their way out, regardless of whether or not they had given.
I got to bring a bit of joy to others. I saw joy in the faces of our community members seeing my young boys ringing bells and showing thanks. We did what felt like a good thing, and walked away feeling better ourselves.
It was self-care, and an hour well spent.
Try one of these:
-Write a letter to a family member or friend and send it via mail.
-Join a local “Buy Nothing” group and post items in good condition that you are no longer using. You will get to have conversation with the people who are receiving and using your items. You may also be able to put someone else’s old items to good use!
-Remove a name from a giving tree and purchase gifts.
-Call your local elementary, middle, or high school and ask what donations they are collecting right now. Ours just finished with food pantry donations and are currently collecting coats.
-Ask a friend or relative if there is anything they need help with.
-Purchase an item you love: Food, sweet treat, socks, soap, etc, and leave it on the doorstep of a neighbor or friend. (Avoid alcohol or tobacco unless you know this person’s preferences).
Practicing generosity makes being generous easier over time. You deserve to feel good about yourself right now. Share what you can give, and watch the joy spread.
“The Science of Generosity” by Summer Allen, PhD
https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Generosity-FINAL.pdf
This post was written by Jessica Flood, MSW, and published by Convenient Counseling Services.
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