In the beginning
When diagnosed with a mental health condition it can often feel like a life sentence. You will allow the future you had envisioned for yourself to disappear as fast as the condition is placed on your health records. You will trap yourself in this invisible coconoon, as you believe that as long as you are in there your mental health conditions do not exist. You will remain in that coconoon for several years, denial will build, relationships will break, mental health will deteriorate,lies will be said, and that person who trapped herself in that coconoon will not be the same girl who escapes. That person who escaped was me.
The grips of anxiety
I lived in that coconoon for almost four years. Day after day, my anxiety controlled my life. I was scared of my own thoughts and bodily sensations. I slept between 15 and 20 hours a day. I honestly neglected myself for so long.
The beginning of the end
My journey toward overcoming my mental health started with asking for help. Now I had been attending therapy sessions for a number of years but I was always told I needed help never did I initiate the help myself.
Something that worked
That is when my turning point occurred, my therapist had me start dialectical behavior therapy(DBT), which is an evidence-based psychotherapy that is useful in treating mood disorders. This approach helped me learn about the triggers that lead to reactive states and which coping skills to apply based on the situation to avoid undesired reactions. I also was introduced to cognitive-behavioral techniques for emotion requaltion and mindful awareness.
I wasn’t alone
For the first time, I met other individuals that were suffering from similar mental health conditions. These individuals, like me, were diagnosed with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and adhd. I was genuinely happy to have the opportunity to surround myself with other individuals who knew what it felt like to have a panic attack or a manic episode.
Comfort in healing
Upon completing DBT I was able to recognize that my anxiety was working for me and not against me. It had my back, warning me about pending fearful situations like an overprotective mother would. The only issue was that I had nothing to fear. I learned how to accept anxiety as my protector, and to be comfortable with it being part of my life.
Anxiety isn’t actually all bad
I choose to no longer allow my mental health to control my life. I did some research and found positive effects of having anxiety.
- Eustress, which means good stress, keeps us motivated and excited about life.
- It is a warning sign that some areas in your life are off track and need adjusting.
- It has proven to be a motivator above all things, students who experience nerves will often show improved performance on exams and athletic activities.
- People who have anxiety are more empathic and strive in leadership roles.
A personalized plan
I tried to learn more about my own personal fears and anxiety. I kept a record of when it happens and what happens. I discovered that I feared death, car accidents, and fires more than anything else. That my anxiety increased in big crowds, when I met new people, when I was around my grandfather(his health concerns me), and when faced with conflict.
Once I knew what I feared and what caused me anxiety I was able to develop a plan that helped me overcome my mental health and live my life to the fullest.
Today is truly a new day
I now live that life I had always envisioned for myself. I haven’t had a manic episode in almost four years. I am in a healthy relationship and have chosen to pursue a career in psychology so that I can help other people overcome their battle with mental health
So remember your mental health doesn’t control your life, only you do.
This post was written by Hana Hollenbeck, a psychology major at SUNY Cortland, and published by Convenient Counseling Services.
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